Why My Failures are More Important Than My Success: A Reality Check
Do you feel you live in a world of "after" photos? You see the toned arms, the glowing skin, and the success stories neatly packaged into 15-second, over-filtered, perfectly-posed reels? But if you’re a woman navigating the hormonal rollercoaster of full-blown (or like me POST) menopause, those "after" photos can feel less like inspiration and more like an FU. I know that’s how I felt.
While the last year I have had a major transformation, for a decade (or more), my "after" photo didn’t come. I followed the rules. I did the work. And yet, I failed. Today I’m putting aside the highlight reel and sharing the mistakes I made which have become the lessons I needed to experience so I can help you get your transformation.
“Failure” #1: Chasing The Wrong Number(s)
First off, can we stop pretending menopause is just hot flashes and mood swings? Does any of the following sound familiar?
This photo was taken just last May. I had tears in my eyes when I saw it.
I remember it vividly. First about the age of 41, it was nothing burger periods that became full-on monthly gushers (I know TMI…but I bet someone else out there is experiencing the same thing right now?).
A year or so later, for the first time in 20 years since having sled dogs, my winter clothes were snug at the end of winter, not just the beginning. You see, dog mushers are the opposite of the rest of the world; they are more active in the winter than summer, and spending hours upon hours outside in the cold, the weight usually falls off…until perimenopause hit.
Then sometime in my early fifties, I swear I was gaining 10lbs a month, every month for about five of them. Yes, I swear it came on that fast. I went from being somewhere between 140-150, to 180-190. And it seemed like no matter what I did, it didn’t work.
I pulled out all the old tricks that had worked in the past: lift more weight/add more cardio, stop eating carbs/carb cycle, dust off my Atkins diet book…but NOTHING was working. ’d weigh less one day, and be two pounds heavier the next.
Here’s the thing. I was chasing the wrong thing: The number on the scale instead of my hormones! I didn't realize that in peri-menopause, my body wasn’t doing the calculator thing (calories in/calories out) anymore.
It had become whole different game and by starving myself and over-training, I wasn't "burning fat"—I was spiking cortisol, crashing my metabolism, and ignoring the hormonal shift shit show that changed the rules.
The Lesson: The scale stayed the same, but my health was tanking with everything I tried.
“Failure” #2: I Ignored What My Doctor’s Warnings
Looking back now, I remember my GP telling me in my early 40’s that my blood sugars were starting to creep up. My obsession with the number on the scale blinded me to the metabolic mess I was becoming. As the years went by, it kept creeping up and teetered on pre-diabetes, lowered a little here and there and up it would go again.
I Couldn’t Ignore It Any Longer
I had a mini photoshoot last spring, and while I loved the style of the photos, I looked at my face and all I saw was the inflammation. I hid it on my body under baggy sweatshirts as much as possible. It was about this time I was diagnosed with Type II Diabetes, something I had been flirting with for close to a decade,
Then, in my 50’s, my cholesterol started climbing a little, along with the scale and mid-section. Had I been taking what my doctors had been warning me about more seriously sooner, I may have saved myself from the diagnosis I never saw coming: Type II Diabetes.
Over the last few years, despite trying just about everything: Mediterranean & carnivore diets, Metformin and other meds, nothing worked. A year ago the truth slapped me in the face: not only had my blood sugars crossed over to full-blown Type II, I also had all the markers of full-blown Metabolic Syndrome.
I felt like a fraud. How could someone so focused on health end up here?
The Lesson: This was my rock bottom, but it was also my turning point. It was the moment I realized that "skinny" does not equal "healthy." I had to stop focusing on the number on the scale, and start focusing on being healthy to save my life.
Last year I chose the word “healthy” as my word of the year and had to do the hard things. First up, as much as I felt and looked like shit, I got back in the gym by swallowing my personal trainer pride and joined a small group training program to get myself back into a routine.
I also tried different nutrition protocols and meds, but nothing seemed to budge the numbers. After deep discussion with my naturopath and my metabolic state, we decided to give Tirzepatide a try. She started me on the lowest dose and within a month, the numbers started to move in the right direction.
The Overall Lesson: My Metabolism Wasn’t Broken, It Just Needed a New Strategy
If you think this story ends with a diagnosis, I’m here to tell you it doesn't. While I am still using the shot in a low-dose, it is really just the beginning. I have had to re-think my fitness and nutrition focus, and keep in consult with my naturopath on whether to continue with the med.
By NOW chasing the right numbers, my blood sugar is not only no longer in the Type II range, it is in the NORMAL range (first time it’s not prediabetic in a decade!) and almost all but one of my metabolic markers are in the normal range and that one is getting closer to normal with each round of labs!
My “During” (not after) Photo
I had to have another mini photo shoot last fall because I had such a major transformation after focusing on the RIGHT numbers. I less than 6 months, I went from a clinically obese, metabolic mess and Type II diabetic to blood sugars in the NORMAL range, no longer clinically obese, (almost) metabolic masterpiece. Why almost? I still have one of my metabolic markers in the high range, but with each round of labs, it is trending down and my goal is to have it normal by the end of the year!
Cardio is reserved mainly for walking, my gym time is focused on building muscle and strength. My nutrition is focused on prioritizing protein (100g a day min.), staying well hydrated (100oz a day) and supplementing with key items (Creatine, clean protein powders, high-octane collagen and clean electrolytes).
The current numbers I am focusing on? Gaining lean muscle while dropping body fat. I have been getting an InBody scan at my gym every two months since starting my G L P journey. So far I’ve dropped appx. 45 pounds, only 3-4 of which is muscle and 14% bodyfat. (Check out my InBody scan results).
I’m no longer focused on the number on the scale, It is the hardest thing I have ever done. Why?
* It’s slow.
* It requires eating more protein than I ever thought possible. (I need to up my 100g to 150).
* It requires lifting heavy weights (thankfully that’s something I love to do!)
* And the hardest part? Seeing the scale stay still (or even go up!) while my body composition shifts.
Why I’m Telling You This? Because I know you might be sitting where I was three years ago—crying in a bathroom after seeing a photo of yourself (That happened after the photo shared in Failure 1).
You haven't failed. The strategy failed because you’re not 30 anymore.
You are of the generation of women who were taught to shrink yourself. But now you have to build muscle, protect your metabolism, and look out for your hormonal health like drug lord from Miami Vice.
Are you ready to stop chasing "perfect" and start chasing longevity and want to redefine what it means to age with power, sass and a nice ass?
Hell yeah!! I’ve created The GenX Glow Up. A three pillar plan that is geared for women of “our age, who don’t want to act our age. With our three pillars we focus on:
Metabolic Health
Muscle Building
Brain Health
We are focusing on longevity over looks, but by getting these “houses” in order, the looks just naturally come with it!
Click here to get my GenX Glow Up guide and to get on the Glow UP mailing list!
Questions? Send an email to: mary@shestotallyawesome.com and Let’s Glow Girl!!!
