Musings on Turning (gulp) 59: 5.9 Things I Know Now That My Younger Self Didn’t

Holy shit! It's my (as I said gulp) 59th birthday as I am writing this. I have one question: How the hell did that happen so fast? I mean seriously?? It seems like just yesterday I was a carefree 32 year old (the age my brain is stuck at)...what. the. Hell???

And then there’s the younger generations talking about us X’ers. Boomers and even the Millenials being born in the 1900’s??? WTF Chuck????

OK, now that I’ve had my mini meltdown, I’m better now. I feel like I am blessed to have made it this far, scars and all, as many people I know haven’t been as lucky. There are a few things I’ve learned in these DECADES of rides around the sun and if you’ll humor me, I’d like to share a few of the ones that I think have helped me get here. Here we go 5.9 things I’ve learned in 59 rides around the sun

Number 1: Health is Your Greatest Wealth

Youngsters listen up. Have you ever heard one of your elders say “if I knew I was going to live this long I would have taken better care of myself”? I’m here to tell you…heed those wise words. 

This took me a few decades to realize and while I never want to go back in time, that is one thing I wish I would have done. Man I smoked a pack a day for 22 years, but thankfully have been absolutely smoke-free for almost 16 now! I also drank waaay too much alcohol in my younger days. But thanks to quitting smoking the drinking pretty much went with it and now menopause has me not being able to drink hardly at all…which isn’t a bad thing!! For more info on why, check out my From Girls Gone Wild to Estrogen Gone Wild blog post about that!

Thankfully when I quit smoking in my 40’s, I started to take the rest of my health seriously too. This former junk food/soda junkie started eating more whole foods and got back in the gym consistently. While there have been stretches of not working out, I always feel better when I get back to it. Although then again, now that I’m training for Strogman again, I don’t know if I FEEL better…but I am getting stronger! Lol 

The last thing on this subject, keep your body moving. We have two feet for a reason! Get out and move at least 30 minutes a day and just move. It doesn't have to be anything strenuous, just move! 

2. The Universe Has a Sense of Humor…and So Should You

Whenever I’ve said I’ll never do something, the Universe says “hold my beer.”

A sense of humor is a MUST. If I’m not laughing at myself, someone else will be.

As I sit here, on my couch in North North Pole/South Fairbanks Alaska, I have to laugh a little. I clearly remember my younger self, during my sled dog racing days, boldly declare “If I ever lived in Alaska, I’d never live North of the Alaska Range”. Whelp guess where I’ve lived for 8.5 of the last 10 years??? 

What does that really mean? Never, say never as you never know what the God, The Universe or whatever higher power you believe in has in store for you. In my nearly 6 decades of time on this earth, I swear any time I said I’m “never” going to do something, the Universe says “hold my beer Mary”. 

That being said…don’t tempt fate either. This doesn’t go for those crazy things that shouldn’t be done in the first place, like something that will physically hurt you or someone else. Just keep an open mind to what may come and laugh when your never becomes your reality. Because in reality, these days, I’d much rather live North of the Alaska Range, especially in the summer! We get waaaaay nicer weather and 24 hours of daylight!!! 

3. Leave Drama For The 80’s Soap Operas: Stop Being a Drama Llama

Waaaay back in 2018 when I was podcasting once a week, I had an episode titled “How to Remove Drama From Your Life” and amazingly, it is still up on Spotify. (Click the link). The advice given seven years ago is just as, if not more relevant today. As social media has grown, so has the Drama Llama opportunities. 

Just like I said back then, I don’t remember exactly WHEN it was, but I remember where I was (sitting on the edge of my bed in our off-grid cabin) telling Mark “I’m done with the pity party, I’m going to be grateful for what I have and I’m ditching the drama.” From that day forward, while I sometimes get sucked into a little drama, I do my damn best to stay out of it. 

I stopped hanging around drama-filled people, stopped doing drama-filled things and stopped following drama-filled crap on social media. Drama = stress. Stress = aging and ain’t nobody got time for that! 

Lesson 4: I Quit Chasing Perfection and My Life Became Less Stressful 

One thing I've definitely let go of is striving for that flawless, magazine-cover version of myself and my life. You know, the kind where every detail is just so, and there's not a single thing out of place? Turns out, chasing that just drained my energy and stole the joy from the process. Now, I'm all about progress over perfect, embracing the imperfections, and celebrating the journey, not just some imaginary finish line. It's way more freeing, trust me!

Just this past weekend, Mark wanted to take me out to dinner at a “fancy” restaurant for my birthday. On our way home from the gym, I told him I really just wanted to just be myself, wear my slides and shorts and go out. I honestly don’t have a desire to “dress up” in “fancy” clothing anymore. I mean I’ve always been the jeans and t-shirt kinda girl. So…Just let me clean up, look nice, and be ME. 

Thankfully social media has the tide turn back to more authentic and natural from the perfectly posed, over-filtered scroll of just a few years ago. I mean chasing perfection will only leave you stressed and sad…so be like Elsa and Let It Go!!!

Lesson 5: The Only Person I Can Control: ME

Oh man, how many people have disappointed you because you had a high expectation for them? How many people have pissed you off because they aren’t as friendly as you think they should, the person cut you off in traffic, or ?????? For me, it USED to be alot. These days, very few set me off. 

Why? If I try to do a tit for a tat, I don’t feel any better about myself, it just gets my blood pressure up, so these days, I just walk away. The catch phrase these days is “Let Them” because of Mel Robbin’s book of the same name, but I have a better, stronger, saltier saying…

I say take it one step further and don’t even use “them” in the sentence, I don’t direct my anger toward them, I just say “fuck it and forget it” and move on. This one has been one of the most freeing changes in how I live my life. 

People are going to disappoint you if you have high expectations. And sometimes part of the problem when things have happened in the past is MY expectation is different from theirs, so another tip; verbalize what is expected from the start. I know I’ve been on both sides and have disappointed people just as much as they had disappointed me, maybe even more so. 

Lesson 5.9: Age IS Just a Number, But It IS a Thing

For the last 10-15 years, I’ve been saying “age is just a number” and don’t let it stop you from doing something. While I still don’t let my age be the only reason why I do or don’t do something, age IS a thing when it comes to HOW I do it. Over the last five years, there are things I have to do differently, things I have to adjust or some things I’ve just decided to throw in the “fuck it bucket”. 

I’ve never liked the posts where people say “what is your excuse” when, damn there are a lot of things that get thrown our way that can slow us down or stop us in our tracks. The biggest lesson learned here: age IS just a number, but so is giving yourself some grace with decades of rides around the sun.

So there you have it…5.9 things I’ve learned in 59 rides around the sun. What are some of the things you’ve learned in all your rides around the sun my fellow early GenX’er? Drop me a note at mary@shestotallyawesome. I’d love to share your thoughts on the socials. 

See you in a couple of weeks. In the meantime, remember…you are totally awesome my friend!!!